þriðjudagur, nóvember 09, 2004
It's always funny how certain things pop up into your mind fully formed, as if your mind has been working on them without telling you about it. In fact, that's pretty much what happens. You think consciously about something, like "Hunh, that X is weird", then forget about it, but your mind does not forget. Then 2 months later, when you're on the toilet, you go "Oh yeah! That's what X is about." This happened to me just the other day, albeit not on the toilet. No, while I was in the groggy, half-comatose state I'm in early in the morning I all of sudden realized why I don't enjoy research in an institution such as UMD.
The important point here is that it's not that I don't enjoy research, it's that I don't enjoy it under the circumstances which I found myself the past year. I have many, many ideas which could easily become a full doctoral thesis, and new ones are born each day. I would love the chance to work on all of them, however - and this is what I realized - I want to work on them on MY terms. Even though the professors were not pushing me in any way, in fact were very laid back, I was still working under their terms and their schedule. So I can see myself being very happy getting some job and then spending my free time working on my own personal research stuff. This line of thinking ties directly into a philosophy I have now discussed with many people, and not yet come to any conclusion.The world today seems to be oriented in such a way to allow young people to "follow their goals". Parents (and others) encourage their children to "follow their heart" and to learn what they want to learn, the future be damned. I have read many many articles comparing people who went after "the money" and people who followed "their passion". Each time, the people who followed their passion are portrayed as having the obvious upper hand, both in salary (money follows passion) and in general wellness of being. However, in addition to this their is an ever increasing rate of divorce throughout the world and people are having children later and later; the "fundamental" family structure is changing. So I started looking around myself, comparing my family to many others I know.
Of all my close friends who are not musicians, I am the only one who has a "normal" family, i.e. parents are still together. (All my musician friends also do, but that is an unrelated, albeit interesting fact). My family is great, we always have lots of fun when we get together, and my friends who come over invariable like us. But we're the exception.What if - in light of the fact that people follow their passion for work - the enthusiasm people have for work is having this effect on the family structure? I want to take my pabbi as an example, even though our family has (thankfully) not followed this path of breaking up.
Pabbi works hard every day, and loves his job and is good at it. It's something he can focus all his efforts into and it has meaning for him. He comes home in the evening and almost always takes care of dinner as well. Then he poops out in front of the TV, often times doing some extra paperwork on his laptop at the same time. For the longest time, when I was younger, I didn't really understand the "pooping out" part. I always thought, "why doesn't he do something; something he enjoys outside his work?" Then I got my own job one summer, working as a computer programmer/designer. I'd work hard, on challenging things, programming fiercly, debugging, walking around, talking to people, debating my points and affecting the design of a multibillion dollar program. (yesyes, I'm gloating a little). Then I'd come home and poop out.
I realized that working all day on something which you can really pour all your effort into is exhausting. Even if I don't move a muscle all day, apart from typing and using the mouse, I'd be absolutely drained when I came home. Which I didn't like, because I had so many other things that I wanted to do, to work on. So that got me thinking...
Why spend my passion on my work? Why not save my passion for things I wanted to do on my own terms? People say, "To have a passion which you can get paid for is heavenly." I say, "to have a passion which you do get paid for is hell, for in the end, it will destroy your passion." Why not go do some work every day which is not too draining, physically or mentally, and then spend the rest of the day (with your extra energy) on things which you love; which you would really like to spend time on. And for those people who like to work out and want to stay in great shape, get a physically demanding job. Then you don't have to spend precious hours of your free time working out, plus you save the cost of paying for a gym. Let's say for example, your passion gives you 300.000 kr ($4,000+) a month, and the physically demanding alternative 170.000($2,500). Let's also assume you live alone. So after a workday with your passion you come home and are exhausted. More often than not you'll order in. You'll have high hopes of getting into shape, and pay for a gym. More often than not, you won't go. So you start to get fat, and depressed, and spend money on stuff to make you happy, etc. On the other hand, after a workday in the physically demanding alternative you come home and even though your body is tired, you have not spent any mental energy and have been spending the dull moments of your day pondering things to work on. You come home eager to try out the stuff you came up with today, to solidify the ideas. You don't have to worry about getting into shape, the job is doing it for you. You are getting paid to look good. As an effect of that, you eat better, you have more energy to do stuff, and generally feel better. Yes, you have less money, but as long as you get by and are happy, that's beside the point, right?
So these examples might be a bit extreme, and there are people who don't fit into either category, my pabbi one of them. He is in the former, but is in fact very happy with his life, even though he is tired after a day's work. However, my point still remains. Whether or not this is something that I'm seriously considering...I still haven't made up my mind on that. I probably need to experience more than just a summer's worth of full time work to figure that out. It seems to be such a different way of thinking, such a radical change from what we know, but also makes perfect sense to me. Anyway, it'll be in the back of my mind over the next few years. We'll see what happens.
As for real-life news, I'm coming home on Thursday, wheee!
Actually I land on Friday morning, but for me, it's only 2.60791 days til my plane leaves. I've been slowly but surely packing (too...much...stuff O_O ), and giving stuff away (the biggest, and most happy recipient being my trashcan). I already have on job interview. They wanted to meet me on Friday, but I said no way, so Monday it is. So anyway, I still have my old phonenumber if anybody wants to reach me over the weekend. I'll definitely be in touch with as many as I can.
The important point here is that it's not that I don't enjoy research, it's that I don't enjoy it under the circumstances which I found myself the past year. I have many, many ideas which could easily become a full doctoral thesis, and new ones are born each day. I would love the chance to work on all of them, however - and this is what I realized - I want to work on them on MY terms. Even though the professors were not pushing me in any way, in fact were very laid back, I was still working under their terms and their schedule. So I can see myself being very happy getting some job and then spending my free time working on my own personal research stuff. This line of thinking ties directly into a philosophy I have now discussed with many people, and not yet come to any conclusion.The world today seems to be oriented in such a way to allow young people to "follow their goals". Parents (and others) encourage their children to "follow their heart" and to learn what they want to learn, the future be damned. I have read many many articles comparing people who went after "the money" and people who followed "their passion". Each time, the people who followed their passion are portrayed as having the obvious upper hand, both in salary (money follows passion) and in general wellness of being. However, in addition to this their is an ever increasing rate of divorce throughout the world and people are having children later and later; the "fundamental" family structure is changing. So I started looking around myself, comparing my family to many others I know.
Of all my close friends who are not musicians, I am the only one who has a "normal" family, i.e. parents are still together. (All my musician friends also do, but that is an unrelated, albeit interesting fact). My family is great, we always have lots of fun when we get together, and my friends who come over invariable like us. But we're the exception.What if - in light of the fact that people follow their passion for work - the enthusiasm people have for work is having this effect on the family structure? I want to take my pabbi as an example, even though our family has (thankfully) not followed this path of breaking up.
Pabbi works hard every day, and loves his job and is good at it. It's something he can focus all his efforts into and it has meaning for him. He comes home in the evening and almost always takes care of dinner as well. Then he poops out in front of the TV, often times doing some extra paperwork on his laptop at the same time. For the longest time, when I was younger, I didn't really understand the "pooping out" part. I always thought, "why doesn't he do something; something he enjoys outside his work?" Then I got my own job one summer, working as a computer programmer/designer. I'd work hard, on challenging things, programming fiercly, debugging, walking around, talking to people, debating my points and affecting the design of a multibillion dollar program. (yesyes, I'm gloating a little). Then I'd come home and poop out.
I realized that working all day on something which you can really pour all your effort into is exhausting. Even if I don't move a muscle all day, apart from typing and using the mouse, I'd be absolutely drained when I came home. Which I didn't like, because I had so many other things that I wanted to do, to work on. So that got me thinking...
Why spend my passion on my work? Why not save my passion for things I wanted to do on my own terms? People say, "To have a passion which you can get paid for is heavenly." I say, "to have a passion which you do get paid for is hell, for in the end, it will destroy your passion." Why not go do some work every day which is not too draining, physically or mentally, and then spend the rest of the day (with your extra energy) on things which you love; which you would really like to spend time on. And for those people who like to work out and want to stay in great shape, get a physically demanding job. Then you don't have to spend precious hours of your free time working out, plus you save the cost of paying for a gym. Let's say for example, your passion gives you 300.000 kr ($4,000+) a month, and the physically demanding alternative 170.000($2,500). Let's also assume you live alone. So after a workday with your passion you come home and are exhausted. More often than not you'll order in. You'll have high hopes of getting into shape, and pay for a gym. More often than not, you won't go. So you start to get fat, and depressed, and spend money on stuff to make you happy, etc. On the other hand, after a workday in the physically demanding alternative you come home and even though your body is tired, you have not spent any mental energy and have been spending the dull moments of your day pondering things to work on. You come home eager to try out the stuff you came up with today, to solidify the ideas. You don't have to worry about getting into shape, the job is doing it for you. You are getting paid to look good. As an effect of that, you eat better, you have more energy to do stuff, and generally feel better. Yes, you have less money, but as long as you get by and are happy, that's beside the point, right?
So these examples might be a bit extreme, and there are people who don't fit into either category, my pabbi one of them. He is in the former, but is in fact very happy with his life, even though he is tired after a day's work. However, my point still remains. Whether or not this is something that I'm seriously considering...I still haven't made up my mind on that. I probably need to experience more than just a summer's worth of full time work to figure that out. It seems to be such a different way of thinking, such a radical change from what we know, but also makes perfect sense to me. Anyway, it'll be in the back of my mind over the next few years. We'll see what happens.
As for real-life news, I'm coming home on Thursday, wheee!
Actually I land on Friday morning, but for me, it's only 2.60791 days til my plane leaves. I've been slowly but surely packing (too...much...stuff O_O ), and giving stuff away (the biggest, and most happy recipient being my trashcan). I already have on job interview. They wanted to meet me on Friday, but I said no way, so Monday it is. So anyway, I still have my old phonenumber if anybody wants to reach me over the weekend. I'll definitely be in touch with as many as I can.
